i choose him.

Quick Thought that I think is worth sharing--
I knelt down last night in prayer,
I decided that praying about my relationship with my Savior,
I prayed that the relationship may be strengthened, and that I may grow closer to him.
I expressed my love for my Savior Jesus Christ, and told him why I was longing to be closer to him.
I expressed to him the feelings I have when I feel of his spirit.

 Then I got to thinking.

 Why do I choose Jesus Christ?

 This question raises a lot more questions.

 I've thought about this question many times in my life time. And when I thought about it last night, I figured that I had expressed the answer to my Savior in my expression of love to him. I thought that I had covered all of the bases that needed to be covered.

 Until I got up this morning and had a very overwhelming feeling of loneliness.
Why is it so easy for us as humans to feel so alone, when we are surrounded by so many that love us?

 I was texting my mom and she helped me to blame those feelings on my emotional sick self. But she also made a statement. "Your grandmother has told me once before, that when she is sick, she tends to feel sorry for herself a lot easier."

 I think that in a loving, mom like way, she was trying to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. To pick myself up and to get over myself. Which I appreciate.

 I then returned to the feeling of alone, though. Because now, even my mom was not on my side.

 So I thought about the question again, 'Why do I choose Christ?' But this time, I thought about my answer before I thought about the question.

 I choose Jesus Christ because Jesus Christ is the only being to never leave me.
Jesus Christ is the only being to never abandon me, to never leave me in the dark afraid.
I choose Jesus Christ because he is the only being, to NEVER leave me alone.

 It's hard to think about that. Because I don't imagine myself alone, even in the times that my mom is expressing hard love. But in my darkest moments, the moments that seemed like I could not make it through, to the light, in the moments that I was too shattered to move, too afraid to stand up. Jesus Christ did not abandon me.

 How wonderful is that thought?

 Jesus Christ. Savior. Peacekeeper, lover, caregiver, comforter, brother, Lord, light
 CONSTANT COMPANION. 

I choose Jesus because he's always here. He's here when I am flawed, when I am crippled, down and dark. i choose him because he loves me always. my most simple answer though, is that I choose him because i love him. 


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