His Burden is Light -- Sterling C. Hilton
"Stay the Course
The purpose of our tribulation is not to experience crushing, hopeless despair. The fruit of our suffering can be a bright hope. Remaining steadfast in Christ through our afflictions and adversity increases our capacity to see our promised end more clearly. Like a powerful spotlight that shines more brightly in complete darkness, our suffering reveals Christ to us. We see His promise of salvation, resurrection, and eternal life more clearly in our mind’s eye, and we look forward with a bright hope to that perfect day, seeing it afar off but knowing that it lies ahead (see Hebrews 11:13).
Do I believe I am finished? No—just ask anyone who knows me. I am not a finished product; I have “miles to go before I sleep” (Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” [1923]). Will my path again become steep and rocky and painful? Certainly, but I do not fear what lies ahead. I know in whom I have trusted. He has shown me how to carry on when darkness surrounds me.
And what about you? What will you do when you experience tribulation? If it is tribulation that comes from putting off Christ’s yoke and leaving His path, then I encourage you to repent and return. But what if it is tribulation you experience along Christ’s path? What will you do when you come to your Gethsemane? For Gethsemane moments are bound to come to those who take Christ’s yoke upon them and follow His path of discipleship. I encourage you to choose a battle cry of commitment."
I simply wanted to give an update on the cutesy blog.
I guess the right way to explain it all, is simply that i have been learning and growing in extrordinary ways lately. In the very begining of November i moved up to Utah Valley. I thought i loved my job in Saint George, and i was sad to leave it; but i didn't know loving a job until i got up here. I work for one doctor, and we have the cutest old patients, whom i have the blessing of taking care of. I live in an apartment, with two other girls; one of which, i have become very good and close friends with. My ward, it is no Little Valley YSA; but it will have to do, because honestly, there is no other ward even close like Little Valley.
That isn't exactly what i meant by learning, and by growing though.
A couple of days ago, i was talking with a friend, explaining my feelings, and my desires. Expressing that the trials that i am currently going through, are very hard; and thinking back to older times, thinking of going through older trials, and remembering how much i blamed, and was angry with my father in heaven because of specific things that were and had been happening to me. I remember being angry towards him whenever something didn't go my way, i remember feeling hopeless, like he wasn't listening to me, and my very own desires. But now. I've had the chance to look into my own heart, and see just how much i have learned since those anger filled moments. How even though the trials that are happening right now, are just as hard as they used to be, the anger is gone. I do not blame; but i know without any doubts, without any sorrows that my God, my King, and my father in Heaven has a plan for me, and i am no longer angry. I've realized just how much my trust in my Father in Heaven has grown. I've taken notice that i do not even have any small doubts in my father. I've realized that those once small doubts, and those once angry situations, are no longer, that those moments are far gone, and the only thing that i feel, is a pure trust.
Months ago, while in my current institute class, i was called on by the teacher, and told to come up to the front of the class (with at least 60 students watching me), so i came up, very timid and very scared. He then told me to stand on top of a tall table, and as i stood on the table, he called on six boys to come up to the front of the room. My heart started to race, as he explained to me that i would be trust falling, off of the table, (that was just as tall as me, standing on the ground beside it) off of this tall table, and into the boys' arms. I began to shake my head, telling him that i could not drop off of this table, blinded and into the boys that i did not even know, let alone trust, arms. The teacher then looked at me, and told me that it was my assignment, and that i must do it. I stood, back against the boys, my eyes close and shaking extremely hard, prayed that i wouldn't pee my pants, counted to three, and fell back. I remember how long that fall seemed to feel. I remember when i was caught, (3 inches from hitting the ground) in those boys arms, how safe and how grateful i had felt. -------
I share this story because as i think about my trust in my father in heaven, I realize just how much the above exercise feels like trusting in our Father in Heaven sometimes. But i correct that statement, because i've realized now, that if we have a clear knowledge, a clear and wonderful relationship with Heavenly Father, that it is so much easier to trust in him. If we simply submit ourselves to a close relationship with our Heavenly Father, our trust will soon come after. If we KNOW God, if we know him and love him, in a smaller, but the great amounts that he loves us, it is so much easier to trust in him. When we trust in Heavenly Father, we trust in his plan for each of us.
I guess that's where i've been heading this entire time, i know without a doubt in my mind or heart; that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, a specific plan, specificly for me, and only me. And if i trust in that plan, i will never be lost.
As many of you know, i was baptized two (almost 3) years ago. And since that day, May 18, 2013; i have been working on this. I have been working on my trust in a plan, that i had never before understood or believed in. Beginning to believe in something you have gone your entire life without, that is HARD. but as much time as it has taken, as much wrok that i have put into this. I am here. I am finally here, trusting completely and 100%. I have made the climb, and i am here. and that is something i felt strongly to brag about. The fact that no doubt in my mind, this is what i believe in, this is what is true, and this is what i love, with all of my being, all of my heart, and all that i am, and will become.
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