doubt-- but do not fear.




https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2011-10-065-jesus-teaches-that-we-must-become-as-little-children?lang=eng


i've had doubts lately, and in the beginning, i was even ashamed to announce that. But i realized just how human i really am, and that being human, comes with doubting ourselves. as many of you know, i was baptized two years and five months ago. May 18, 2013. and i've embraced it, cherished it, and loved it beyond anything that i've ever loved in this life. it was something that i always talked about, always prayed for, and always embraced, i wouldn't ever stop thinking about church, the book of mormon, my elder boys, or even the missionary discussions. it got to the point that it all consumed who i was, and who i had become. and i loved that.

somedays though, more lately than normal, satan kicks me straight in the face. making me doubt, and question everything that i have learned, been taught and come to have a strong testimony of for myself. sometimes i want to give up and walk away from the church, because of my doubts. and then softly, gently and lovingly, i am reminded just how much my Heavenly Father loves me. and then it breaks my heart that i would even want to give up on him. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE MY FATHER IN HEAVEN! seriously, so deeply it hurts. So deeply it kills me to go a day without him. You know? I feel like i'm completely in love with the gospel, and my savior Jesus Christ. just like a teenager, falling in love for the first time. The way your heart almost hurts it feels so good. i know with all of me, that i would be completely heart broken if i walked away from this. I know that it would hurt me so badly, that it would be impossible.

i want all of you who doubt out there, that you're not completely alone. because i'm with you, and thats one more person than you thought you had. i want you to know that your God, your father in heaven, your Heavenly Father, your higher power. He loves you beyond any human comprehension. truly. try to imagine somebody who sent his son, to be killed, to suffer while his son was being tortured, just so that he could see you once again, so that you could be with him after death. try to imagine a parent who does nothing but love you when you do something wrong. try to think of a perfect person, somebody who loves, who cares, who wants nothing more than to see you succeed. that's GOD. the almighty, all powerful Heavenly Father.. and we have the blessing of being loved by him. of feeling his hugs, his kisses, and his warmth. we have the blessing of being lifted by him, when we can no longer go anywhere on our own.

those are the things that remind me of why i love and cherish this church. these are the things, that i love to believe in, the things that i know without a doubt in my mind, EVER. to be completely true.

I know that Jesus Christ my savior, died for me. that he loves me and cheers me on, even though i cannot hear him. I know that he continues to suffer for me, that he continues to love me, even through my darkest of times, that he holds me while i cry, and he hugs me when i make mistakes. i know that he suffered, so that i would have an atonement, to take away my pains and my afflictions, to help me through my trials and be comforted through them.

if you are doubting, kneel. ask your father in heaven if he loves you. and i promise that you will get an answer. be strong, and hold on. Heavenly Father is holding your hand, so do not fear, and do not let go, he will catch you when you fall.


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